It’s 8am and I have had four hours sleep. My head has a small man running around in it with a jackhammer and my mouth is worse than an abandoned birdcage. There is a small redhead child outside my tent demanding (in a very LOUD voice) to know when everyone is going down to the river. I open my eyes to blue skies and remember where I am. Up the Creek. It’s Saturday morning and we are SO going down to the river”¦
The history
Up the Creek started in 1990 as a private party for a friend. There were only 100 people and 2 bands played on a makeshift stage on the “stoep” of the farmhouse. Today this annual festival just outside of Swellendam draws 2 000 people and approximately 25 bands to the banks of the Breede River for a weekend of great music, comedy and a whole lot of fun.
The river
Once a year, in February, The Breede River gets an oil slick of suntan lotion and all the fish swim upstream weeks before. The river is THE place to be on Saturday and if you are not there you miss out on a whole lot of action. Bikini action for the lads and six-pack ab action for the girls (that’s actually wishful thinking,make that mostly beer belly action). Add to that a myriad of brightly coloured floating thingies, ranging from small boats to whales and sharks (thankfully the only Breede River sharks I saw). The inventive ones bring down their inflatable mattresses straight from their tent and the clever (alcoholic) ones have floating bars. In amongst all this bright bobbing stuff you will find pirates, Vikings, flower children, surfers, kids and a lot of brollies. The sun is shining and everyone is either swimming, floating, tanning or ogling. Beers are going down whilst the bands play on. It’s Swellendam’s answer to heaven.
The bands
Yes, there are bands too! Some of the best ones in South Africa. Could this festival get any better? River by day, rocking bands by night. On Friday I caught Hot Water getting tribal with didgeridoos, tried to get the right words out with aKing, watched the whole world burn with The Dirty Skirts, and shook my booty to the legendary Rudimentals. Who doesn’t love the Rudimentals, come on! On Saturday I tanned and nursed a mild hangover in the good company of Captain Stu, Fox Comet and Akkedis. That evening Jack Parow swore at everyone (whilst girls in the crowd almost threw their panties at him) and Boo! took glam rock and munkey punk to a new level (whilst I nearly threw my panties at Chris Chameleon). Everyone rocked out to Taxi Violence (even my friends who are not huge fans) and Flash Republic brought the tent down. After all that excitement I hit the main bar and watched the Southern Gypsy Queens perform with the legendary Albert Frost. Black Cat Bones got my dirty feet tapping too, but by this stage too many blue drinks had been consumed and it was time to zig zag our way back to our tents. Sunday saw a very chilled set at the main stage with the Blues Broers, Dave Ferguson and Piet Botha. Perfect for a lazy Sunday as by now everyone has that “festivalled out” look and the queues for egg and bacon breakfast outnumber the queues for the loos.
The puke factor
Rockstars are known for bad behavior and throwing up is one of them. Jack Parow threw up on stage (which doesn’t surprise me) and George from Taxi Violence apparently puked on Elvis Blue (they say it was a bet). But the most rockstar puke of them all wasn’t by a band member. My friend’s brother couldn’t get out of his van fast enough on Friday night and brought up the evening’s festivities in their full cooler box. Needless to say we didn’t see him sunset on Saturday evening.
The camping
Unless you are in the VIP section with grass, you can expect to remove a lot of stones from under your tent if you want a comfortable night. The camping area is vast though and they allow cars near your tent so no lugging of heavy coolerboxes in the heat which is a huge bonus. Camping with families and their small children makes for early morning wake-ups, but you can guarantee that whatever you have left behind they will have. Parents go camping with their entire pantry and have emergency first aid supplies, like headache tablets and plasters, which proves to be most useful.
Food and drink
Music festivals have come a long way and it is no longer necessary to take your entire braai kit and kettle. At Up the Creek the stalls offered a wide array of foodstuffs, ranging from samoosas to Spur burgers, coffee to detox smoothies (what!), not to mention lamb on a spit and the legendary egg and bacon breakfast of champions. Whether you have R15 or R50, you will find something to munch on. Then there are the bars. Two of them actually. Beers, ciders, soft drinks and the memorable “Titanic”. That’s the blue drink that stains your mouth and makes you lose your memory.
The people
One of the things that I love about Up the Creek is the fact that it keeps the number of people to a max of 2 000. That means enough camping space and queues are kept to a minimum. The other is that it is generally an older crowd which makes me feel comfortable. It is probably the most kiddy-friendly festival in the Western Cape where parents can leave their kids with minders if they want some time out. Besides all that, everyone is there for a good time and that makes everyone super-friendly. Facebook friend quotas probably double after a weekend at Up the Creek. Some people go for the river, some for the bands, some to drink themselves ill and some hope to get laid. But everyone has one thing in common – to have a whole lot of fun in the sun. And that’s exactly what we did.
