Leaving Velddrif, we engaged in more tortoise-spotting on the R27 to Elands Bay and made a u-turn to photograph a herd of Nguni cows. We chatted excitedly about a surfing town neither one of us had been to before. A town where the beach stretches on endlessly, where the waves have the best left point break this side of Cape Town and rumours of a bar with a false leg hanging from the ceiling. We couldn’t wait”¦ sea, surfers and a legendary bar all awaited”¦
Upon arrival we were greeted by a glittering blue river and towering mountains. So far so good. After much deliberation on whether we were supposed to be in the north or south part of Elands Bay, we found our way to Point Cottage. The beach was a two minute walk away, so after unpacking the car, deciding on our rooms and having another nap (this roadtripping stuff is hard work) T-Bird and I set off to find the beach.
While the sun was setting, we paddled in the waves, seached for shells and agreed that Baboon Point definitely looked like a baboon’s profile. We watched surfers and marvelled at the powerful presence of the mountains. It was idyllic. We also decided that we should go into town and find that bar with the false leg “¦
The notice on the door of the Elands Bay Hotel reads “No pets, no food, no drinks, no surfboards, no wetsuits”. Upon reflection we should have taken it as a sign. At the bar we were greeted by a handful of locals mulling over their beers, a few surfers trying their hand at pool, a barlady who looked like a serial killer and the legendary false leg hanging from the ceiling.
The walls were painted with swirls of blue and the odd topless mermaid. After a few beers you could feel seasick. Then we spotted it. A yellow flytape. It was all too much and we burst into a fit of giggles. This did not go down well with the locals. Or the barlady.
After getting off on a bad footing, we ordered a drink and asked if we could play a game of pool on the remaining pool table. We were told that only one pool table was in operation and – wait for it – there was a queue of people wanting to play. Then one of the locals tried to engage in conversation with T-Bird in Afrikaans. T-Bird’s understanding of Afrikaans is limited and mine is non-existent. Another bad move.
Things were going pear and fast. We decided to see if there was anywhere we could go to get something to eat. Surprise! The only place to eat was at the hotel. Despite starting to feel like I was on the set of The Shining, we decided dinner in the hotel dining room was going to be our only safe haven at this point.
I am pretty sure the dining room at Elands Bay Hotel is fantastic during the day with views over the ocean and the sea breeze keeping you and your beer cool. During the evening it is dark outside and you feel like you are in a school dining room. But the menu was varied and prices reasonable. Not feeling too hungry I decided on the mussel starter. T-Bird was indecisive and being vegetarian, there weren’t too many choices.
Waitress: “The soup of the day is Bean Soup”
Me (trying to be encouraging): “Bean Soup is really nice”
T-Bird: “What beans are in the Bean Soup? How do you make it? Oh wait, don’t tell me.”
T-Bird settled on a coffee while the waitress looked fed up. We were not doing well with the staff. When my West Coast Musse;s arrived I had six mussel shells and 5 bits of mussel meat. With a slice of crustless white bread and swimming in enough garlic to keep me safe from any vampires two towns away.
On the way out we bumped into the barlady. We don’t understand much Afrikaans, but we certainly know what “klap” means. We were relieved to find our car was still there, with inflated tyres.
The next morning, after a non-anticipated early night, we went for a final walk on the beach. The surfers were out, the sun was shining and the waves magnificent. “Definitely a good place for surfers” we mused. On the walkway we discovered the tiniest tortoise we had ever seen. The size of a R5 coin. After marvelling at High Five, as we called him, we put him safely under the fynbos out of harm’s way. Then we packed up the car and set off for the Northern Cape before anyone could recognise us from the night before.
Footnote:
Whilst our experience in Elands Bay was nothing short of comic, I have been told that it is a great place. Mostly by surfers. Perhaps we didn’t give it enough time. Perhaps we shouldn’t have laughed at the flytape. Who knows. But if I ever go back, it will be with a surfboard, a better knowledge of Afrikaans and a big group of friends who will hopefully protect me from getting a klap from a barlady in a hotel out of The Shining.
About Point Cottage
This well-equipped cottage is a short walk from the beach and, like the town, is great for surfers. It has tiled floors for wet feet, a big garden for drying surfboards and plenty of surfer magazines and books to gain inspiration and surfing wisdom. You will find everything you need, including a snackwich maker and chest freezer. It sleeps six in 3 bedrooms and linen is provided. You need to bring your own towels. There is a braai area outside and you can watch DSTV in the lounge. The large garden makes it perfect for families with children. Point Cottage is also pet-friendly, but please remember to “pick up” after your pet.
Contact Emma on (022) 972 1755 / 072 853 9949.
What to do in Elands Bay
It does have an endless beach, great waves and a bar with a false leg hanging from the ceiling. You can also see bird colonies, go on hikes, check out prehistoric caves, marvel at the flowers in season and watch whales when they are there. Elands Bay is known for its laid back attitude and is well loved by rock climbers, canoeists, bird watchers and of course, surfers.
The legend of the prosthetic leg
The story goes that railway worker had a bit of a binge in the bar one night and couldn’t pay his tab. So he left his leg behind as collateral for the bill and never returned. Perhaps like us, he just hot-footed it out of there.
