For anyone who has been in the city so long they’ve forgotten what its like to be relaxed and up for a good time, I recommend Vilanculos in Mozambique for a few weeks of tropical village living. It’s a kind of rehabilitation retreat: no matter who you are, what you do or how strung out you are, it will (after a certain amount of time) force you to calm down, slow down and smell the uuuhm … bougainvillea.
Coming from the large and very busy city of Johannesburg it always takes me a while to remember that big city behaviour doesn’t get you very far in Mozambique or Vilanculos. Trying to get what you want, when you want it is a completely futile exercise. This is Mozambique baby! This is a place that operates apologetically on ‘African time’ and it can either drive you to insanity or become your salvation.
After the third or fourth time some laid back Mozambican soul looks at you in a kind of anguished pity as you demand completely and utterly unrealistic things such as your taxi being on time or your laundry coming back the same colour you sent it out as, you start to realise that you can do this the hard way or the easy way. Just relax: a big smile, a sense of humour and a little time-urgency amnesia will get you far.
Once you’ve been in Vilanculos for a few days and have started going into big-city detox and are acting a little irrational, don’t go hanging about with other big city nuts. Instead take off your watch, put on those flip flops and say to yourself three times in the mirror each morning, ‘Today I am going to achieve nothing.’ Its hard, but I know you can do it.
Here are a nine tips, from a self-confessed big-city nut, to get you on the slow track in Vilanculos:
1. Travel only by foot or by tuk-tuk. This way you are part of the sites, sounds and smells of this colourful little village.
2. Visit the Balinese-style Casbah Restaurant and Bar for a cocktail on the beach every afternoon. www.casacabanabeach.com
3. Watch the locals play soccer and practice martial arts on the beach and, if your up for it, join in. This happens every Sunday afternoon on the main beach.
4. Eat a pizza and chocolate pancakes at Casa Gucci and split your sides laughing at Uli’s outrageous humour. www.casaguci.com
5. Go on a dhow safari with Sail-a-way Dhow for the day, spot dolphins, whale sharks and endangered dugongs, snorkel off the island of Margaruque and be spell-bound by the gorgeous island scenery. www.sailaway.co.za
6. Watch a rugby game on the big screen at the legendary Smuggler’s Pub, preferably a morning game so you have a reason to start drinking beer really early. This a great place to meet some of the locals. www.smugglers.co.za
7. Walk down to the fisherman’s market at around three pm each afternoon on the beach and buy fresh calamari, prawns and fish straight off the dhow.
8. Ask a local lady to make you a pot of crab matapa, a delicious stew of crushed cassava leaves, coconut milk, peanuts, minced prawns and whole crabs. Eat it all under a palm tree with a glass of chilled white wine. Don’t share – you will only end this experience in regret.
9. Choose something completely weird to ask for at the Mercardo Municipal (local open air market) like an electric toothbrush or a small Elvis doll and see if they can rustle it up for you. It’s fascinating to walk through the multi coloured isles and challenge your own ideas about shopping and well, life in general.
They say that even the apocalypse will happen ten years later in Vilanculos, and perhaps they are right. This is a place where even time has its own agenda.
For more images on Mozambique visit www.skyhawkphotography.com
