Ebola, as we all know, is wreaking havoc in some of Africa’s most vulnerable countries. But so is sensationalism. Tourism is one of the most important industries across Africa, providing the lifeblood that keeps us fed and our wildlife safe, and it’s being severely impacted by the phenomenon known as “fearbola.” Here are a few things I wish the wider world knew about ebola.
1. More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died of ebola
Just let that sink in.
2. Spain is closer to the centre of the outbreak than East and Southern Africa
Are you African? According to the mainstream narrative, you must either be (a) a knock-kneed youth whose happiness is proportional to the amount of Western-donated sugar in your bloodstream, (b) a psychopathic warlord with a Swiss bank account or (c) a wizened spiritual leader with a dazzling smile and deep laugh. Despite the fact that many people (*cough* Americans *cough*) think of Africa as one country, it’s ACTUALLY a vast landmass with a wild variety of cultures, customs, cuisines and languages. And it’s big. Did I mention that it’s really, really big?
3. It’s definitely not airborne
Look, I love a good zombie origin story just as much as your average nerd. (Case in point: how to avoid the zombie apocalypse in Namibia). But despite the promisingly gruesome symptoms, there’s no reason to believe that ebola could become airborne.
4. Nigeria and Senegal have already been declared ebola-free
This is obviously difficult for our more geographically-challenged cousins to understand. Although ebola is still wreaking havoc in Liberia and Sierra Leone, Nigeria has found ways to “shut that whole thing down.” It was announced ebola-free by the World Health Organisation on 20 October after 42 days passed with no new cases. Obviously that’s not to say that it can’t happen again – but for now, there’s no reason to panic.
5. It’s not always fatal either
Not everyone who gets ebola dies, and spreading this message was instrumental in Nigeria’s response to the outbreak. By stressing the importance of early detection, they minimised mass panic and incentivised people to get themselves checked out. Personally, if I thought a gruesome death was mere hours away, the absolute last thing on my to-do list would be sitting in quarantine. I’d be much too busy making peace with death: apologising to everyone I’ve ever spilled beer on, eating mac and cheese, and trying to hunt down and make out with Brandon Boyd. This is problematic for two reasons – spilling ebola on people is much worse than beer, and consigning Brandon Boyd to an early grave would mean I’d definitely be going to hell.