I love and hate grocery shopping on payday with equal measure. Like anyone, I hate the queue-jumping, aisle-jams caused by completely unaware shelf-gazers and general animosity. But a part of me loves it because it’s just so damn entertaining.
I just walked across to my friendly neighbourhood PnP and felt the buzz on approach. The surrounding footsteps were somewhat quicker and more purposeful than usual. On reaching the entrance, I joined the crowd who were dodging the three – yes three – promotions all happening in the doorway. It’s not that big a doorway!
The dried-herb-and-spice-guy was attempting to thrust leaflets into hands. The Master Card lady was standing in the middle of the passage with a goalie’s stance, holding a clip board with a look on her face that said, ‘give me your money!’. And the 20-year old washing-powder-promoter, dressed like a housewife on laundry day wearing a long blue apron she might trip over, looked completely terrified of the other two product-terriers.
Inside, I coughed and spluttered past the woman cooking some kind of sausages, filling half the shop with smoke. I picked up my R7.20 salad – all that I went for – and joined a queue. With quite some amusement I watched the reactions of shoppers approaching the store as they spotted the three promoters lying in wait.
There was the guy who suddenly HAD to send an sms as he was walking past, and the lady who I would have sworn had never seen her own shoes for how fascinated she was with them. Then there was the woman who was desperately looking for the bottom of her handbag – where could it ever have got to – and the guy who went completely deaf for the 10 seconds it took him to bypass the barrage. And then of course, there was the old gal who purposefully visited all of them asking if they were giving away anything for free. One thing they all had in common was how tightly they were all obviously holding onto their purse strings.
Now I ask you do promotions actually work?
I left with my lunch only – no washing powder, new credit card or dried herbs and smelling like yesterday’s braai day. Great. And of course, walked straight into a charity organization with big, sorrowful eyes raising money for the needy. I’m still feeling guilty for my momentary lapse into deafness. I really should get that checked.
